From war to Westwood: when soldiers become students

A new UCLA class is reaching out to a unique kind of incoming Bruin: veterans relearning how to live as civilians after service in the military. In the safety of the all-vets class, they discuss their impatience with students who think midterms are life-or-death issues, their struggles to stay calm in campus crowds, and the challenge of responding to questions that raise painful memories.

 

For veterans returning from Afghanistan, Iraq and other war zones, life in Westwood can feel unreal, said psychologist Matthew Nichols, student veterans services coordinator for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). Having difficulty making the transition is perfectly normal.

 

This new life can also feel isolating: While there are an estimated 300 veterans on campus, many of them don't know each other. And when it comes to getting to know other students, some vets say they hold back, reluctant to tap into disturbing memories or wary of becoming magnets for politically charged viewpoints.

 

But things are changing. Nichols has started support groups for veterans and their families at the counseling center. The Veterans Resource Office (VRO), established last year in the Bruin Resource Center (BRC) under the direction of BRC Director Tina Oakland, has grown into a wide-ranging network that connects veterans to services as well as to each other.

 

And this quarter, Nichols and Oakland are co-teaching the new Fiat Lux class, "Boots to Bruins: From Combat to Campus Life."

 

Described as an exploration of theory and research in the transition from combat service to civilian and college life, the class moves well beyond theory: Discussions among its nine participants — eight men and one woman, all combat veterans — range from strategies for collecting their Post-9/11 GI Bill stipends in time to pay housing costs, to monitoring personal behavior that worked in warfare but doesn't work in Westwood.

 

Take aggression, for example. "The campus here is a beautiful, peaceful place for most folks, but it can evoke other reactions when you don't know your way around or don't feel safe in a crowd," Nichols told class members during a recent session. "When you're in the theater of combat, aggression is very functional, keeping you on point and alive. But when you come back here and your body hasn't unlearned that behavior, you may overreact to things."

 

Noted one student (who, along with several others in the class, asked to remain anonymous), "Sometimes my tone of voice comes across as anger. I have to remind myself that I'm probably scaring people and have to tone it down."

 

Another common emotional response may be irrational fears, said Nichols — to which Alfredo Gonzalez responded, "I refuse to wear a backpack."

 

Wearing a backpack, he explained, reminds him of wearing a pack loaded with communications jamming equipment while he and his fellow Marines patrolled the city of Rawah in northwestern Iraq looking for insurgents and checking for improvised explosive devices.

 

"It was pretty intense," he recalled.

 

What's intense for Gonzalez now is studying. A third-year transfer student from Victor Valley Community College in Victorville, he has a double major in political science and religion — a combination he hopes will help him understand the deeper forces behind the conflict in Iraq. "This is my first quarter and I just don't want to mess it up," he said, adding, "but being in the military, I have that work ethic. This is an opportunity I don't want to waste."

 

 

When the discussion turns to midterms, another student in the class said he gets impatient watching other students stressing. "I want to tell them, 'Quit complaining and just do the work.'"

 

Noted Nichols, "A midterm may feel to them like it's a matter of life-or-death. Obviously, their version of life or death is different from yours."

 

"Based on my experience, a test is only a test," added John Whang, a second-year graduate student in the Anderson School's Fully Employed M.B.A. program. "For most younger students, this test may be the most important thing that's ever happened."

Serving his country was the most important thing for Whang for more than a decade. He trained for a military career at Annapolis Naval Academy and served seven years with the Marine Corps. Nearly two of those years as a Marine were on repeated deployments to Iraq, where, as an infantry officer and later as a reconnaissance commander, he was responsible for everything from leading dark-of-night raids on "high-value targets" to working on humanitarian efforts with local officials and tribal leaders in a territory he was in charge of south of Fallujah.

 

Whang said that his work in the Marines was his passion and he had even planned to make the military his career. But after three seven-month deployments to Iraq, "It got to a point where I didn't want to just think about a job that I loved doing," he said, "but I also had family to think about and the mental and emotional toll I was putting them through" each time he was deployed.

 

 

And while family members may be relieved that their loved ones are finally home, Nichols noted, "Talking with family members about what happened there can be difficult. People in combat have to do things or see things that they might not want to do or see. But not talking about things can cause tension."

 

"I'm still trying to figure out how to handle that," said Gonzalez, who said he often gets irritated with his family for asking questions.

 

Whang said he prefers to talk about his experiences with buddies from the military rather than taking those stories home to his wife.

 

Another student said of his family, "They listen, but they go toward the religion side … Or they may think I'm crazy," he added, recounting an experience last 4th of July when fireworks went off outside and "I hit the floor. They looked at me, my hands were shaking, my palms were sweating, the whole bit. I was embarrassed."

 

 

And then there's the challenge of opening up to others on campus about their experiences.

 

"Hollywood — movies like 'Generation Kill' — shows these crazy vets coming back from Iraq," said Whang. "People have stereotypes about vets when they don't even know any."

 

"Someone asked me, 'Why did you support this imperialist war?'" offered one student. Another said that he gets "caught off guard" by the questions and feels like "I have to speak for the whole friggin' Marine Corps."

 

"Sometimes people blurt things out, standing there thinking, 'I have a real-life Marine in front of me,'" suggested Nichols, who went on to suggest a bit of "informal homework" in which the class members prepare themselves in advance about how they might answer hard questions.

 

"I had one kid ask, 'So did you kill anyone over there?'" said Gonzalez. "I'm not going to answer that, but the guy kept pushing, like he thought killing someone in combat is cool."

 

"I've gotten that question lots of times," said Whang. "For me personally, I look at who's asking the question and why they're asking. A lot of people are genuinely, in a good way, curious, and I see that as an opportunity to give a better understanding of what people in the service do. I tell them, 'This was my job. It's no different than a police officer in dangerous situation. If we had to defend ourselves, we did what we were trained to do.'"

 

"I have nothing but great things to say about the people I served with and the things I felt I was fortunate to experience," said Whang. The important thing, he said, is that "you have to embrace your previous experience but really open yourself up to life afterwards. You've got to embrace what's out there."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

 

See the Counseling and Psychological Services website for information about support groups and other services, and the Veterans Resource Office for a wide range of services for campus veterans.

 

Upcoming veterans events:

 

On Saturday, Nov. 7, the Bruins football game at the Rose Bowl is the 13th annual UCLA Veterans and Armed Forces Appreciation Day. Veterans and armed forces personnel are eligible to receive either one free general admission ticket or can purchase buy-one-get-one-free reserved tickets (up to 4 total tickets). Get tickets by visiting the UCLA Central Ticket Office on Friday, Nov. 6 or calling (310) UCLA-WIN; or go to the Rose Bowl Ticket Office on game day. Valid ID or uniform is required.

 

On Tuesday, Nov. 10, UCLA will hold its annual UCLA Veterans Day Memorial Ceremony to honor Bruins who are veterans of military service.  The ceremony takes place  at 11:30 a.m. in the Ackerman Union Grand Ballroom and will be followed by an information fair, providing resources for veterans. R.S.V.P. here.