Money worries take their toll
The broken economy is taking a toll on more than our pocketbooks. Money worries are a growing source of anxiety for many, according to Nan Levine-Mann, co-director of UCLA’s Staff and Faculty Counseling Center.
While most people don’t come into the counseling center specifically for help about financial issues, financial security inevitably becomes part of the conversation, Levine-Mann said. This additional anxiety adds to stressors they’re already facing.
Many people are worried about their future, she said. They talk about reconsidering plans to retire and delaying the purchase of a house. They talk about the fear of being unable to afford their children’s daycare, private school or college tuition. Someone taking care of an elderly parent may now worry more about the long-range cost of their parent’s custodial care. Others fear not being able to continue to make ends meet.
Levine noted that when money is tight, people are often faced with choices that stir up other emotions. “People share that they feel guilty for having to rely on family members for financial help. Others feel the disappointment of having to struggle every month,” she said. Overall, “People are feeling more fragile than they normally would be, and there’s a lot of worry about holding onto security, from concerns about job security to postponing prior plans to change careers or return to college,” she said.
Add to this the pressure of holiday gift giving. People have told Levine-Mann about feeling constrained and sad about not being able to give as much as they had hoped to their kids, family or charity.
“These difficult times call for people to be resilient – which may prove to be challenging,” Levine-Mann said.
Here's some advice from experts on how to deal with worries:
• Don’t wallow in worry. “A little bit of worry is actually helpful if it prompts you to take constructive action,” Levine-Mann said. But if worry becomes excessive and consuming, it can wreak havoc on your mental and physical health. Strive to make the worry work for you rather than against you. If you can’t help but worry, set a “worry period” – perhaps 30 minutes a day from 5:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. – and then let worry go until tomorrow.
• Let go of the “what ifs.” Many of us
have active imaginations that are quick to invent worst-case scenarios. Try not to go there. Keep things in their proper perspective. If you have difficulty doing that, go ahead and imagine the worst – and then create a strategic plan for handling it.
• Deal with the “as is
” rather than the “should be.” Telling yourself, “It shouldn’t be like this” won’t help matters. Instead, acknowledge things as they are and focus on finding ways to constructively deal with the situation.
• Learn stress management skills. In times of difficulty it is especially important to take care of yourself. Excessive stress is known to negatively affect the body’s immunity. Challenging your negative thoughts, learning how to relax and reaching out for support are some of the ways we can counteract the effects of stress on the mind and body.
• Reassure your kids: You may think your children don’t notice, but kids often overhear conversations and start worrying about things themselves. Communicate with them – especially elementary school-age children who may be scared about things they’re too young to fully understand. Instead of saying “We can’t afford” something – such as Christmas gifts – work out a family plan for alternatives such as a family grab bag or making gifts for each other.
• Bottom line: Accept that you can’t control everything. “That’s hard for many people because ‘they had a plan,’” said Levine-Mann. “They had a plan to retire, or for their kids to go to a certain school. … These are uncertain times, and we are faced with ambiguity, an uncomfortable position for most of us to struggle through. Coming to terms with that is not an easy thing – but we all have to.”
Whether it is finances, personal issues or work issues, this is a time of heightened stress and worry. The UCLA Staff & Faculty Counseling Center offers counseling and referral services to help. Contact the center at (310) 794-0245, or see this
website. Also see this related story,
Good habits for coping with a bad economy.
